Sunday, 3 July 2011

It starts...

For many years I have used online dating. In fact I met my former husband as a result of a personal ad in a local paper - pre dating sites - so I have found them, on the most part, easy, convenient and, again mostly, troublefree. Let me set that stage....

In that year my company had been bought out by a large corporation and I am not one to lock-step with that kind of thing so I took my payout and left the big city for the seaside and took some time to reflect and collect myself and see where my next steps would take me. As I hold a Masters in Counselling I thought maybe starting my own practice was the way to go but the recession hit and counselling was available for free as everyone was depressed so I began looking for a new career - a new job. Ten months into this an acquaintance of mine left her job working for a local charity so I applied and succeeded in getting the position. It was while my background was being checked, about 2 months before the start of my new job, that I joined

Now let me say I am sure many people have met many other, lovely people on Match and this time around I thought I was one of those people. The week prior one of my closest and oldest friends from home came to visit me for a week. Many years ago, nine to be exact, we had dated briefly only to realise we loved each other but we didn't work as a couple so we remained close and his friendship is one that I truly, truly cherished. During that week a man began to email me. His picture was of himself and his horse and there was a lengthy description of the type of man he was - he wasn't into sport, loved shopping, physically affectionate, into animals and a bit outdoorsy as well as lived relatively local. I thought to myself well let's write back.

While my friend was visiting I had my phone on silent or off because I felt it intrusive to have calls all the time. I had given the Matchman my mobile number and he had taken to texting me but I was busy and did not respond quickly. After all I didn't really know him and my friend had come to visit. His texts became odd and distant and rather stand offish. I apologised and told him a friend was visiting so I would get back to him the following week. He was fine with that as was I.

My friend left and that day I received a text and I called the man. His accent was a little thick for an englishman but I eventually got used to it. He made me laugh and seemed genuine. We made arrangements to meet the next Monday. The next Friday he emailed me to tell me he had had an accident at work and was laid up at home and could not meet up. We had had such great conversations that I thought it would be nice to meet him so I agreed to go to his place. Now I know that is not the wisest move but I felt he would be worth it and he worked in the justice system so I felt safe for some reason.

I got his address and went there. He answered the door in a dressing gown and shorts on crutches with a cast. He was extremely fit for a man his age and was very attractive to me. We sat and chatted but one thing led to another and, as consenting adults, well, no need to go into details. I can say it was a good but not great afternoon and as far as I was concerned it was not anything I was planning on continuing.

Then it started. The texta, the calls, the emails. The overwhelming of my time and energy. This man said he couldn't believe how lucky he was - how he's met the perfect woman. How though he was English all he wanted was to be American, to be with an American, live in America. He wanted to see me again - when can we do that? He would find a way to come see me....and he swept me off my feet. Never had I met someone so passionate about me, about us, about the whole thing....

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