Monday, 11 July 2011

Back to reality

When I got back from that holiday things seemed to change. In little ways.

We moved his horse from a small livery yard to a large equestrian centre. The small yard had messed up in the care of Mr. Wonderful's horse and though we attempted to find a middle ground to reconcile a misunderstanding he moved his horse when no one was around and took him to the new yard. I used to think it was the female owner's dislike of Mr. W. that had him barred from the yard but it was actually her husband's distaste for the man that kept him from allowing him back on the yard. Mr. W thought he had trained his horse well in western riding but the truth is he gave his horse his own bad habits. Mr W was so desperate to appear different and american that he sacrificed the proper and professional training of his horse for appearances sake. Personally I think he used his money on himself rather than do what was right and have his horse professionally trained. He so liked to tell people how he'd trained it himself and it was not that hard. That used to kill me - people educate themselves for years to be qualified to be allowed to train horses and he saw it as easy to do after all he did it so anyone can. His ego knew no bounds. I believe the real reason he left the small yard is that no one looked up to him and he had to follow their rules and that didn't sit well with him.

At the new yard - a much much large yard -  He settled his horse in. Personally I found the yard to be a social open place but from the beginning Mr. W went on about how there were very few men there and mostly women so it was perfect for him. I didn't get a chance to get up to the yard for a few weeks but apparently he made sure to never mention he had a partner to any of the women there and flirted with as many as he could asking about the ones he felt attractive. When the rest of the stables next to his horse filled up I went up there to meet the owners of the four horses. The coloured cob next to his was a lovely horse and his owner was a strong willed woman who spoke her mind and knew a lot about her animal and horses in general. I liked her right off and we got along. I respected her knowledge and it reminded me of how much I knew about horses as I have studied them all my life and ridden when I was younger. Mr. W never asked how much I knew about horses and it would have surprised him how much more then him I knew but I kept my mouth shut. Easier that way - let him feel as if he knew it all.

When Mr. W saw that C and I got along, the woman that had the horses next door, he began to bad mouth her when she wasn't around. Made fun of her weight and knowledge. As the weeks, months went by, (and apparent after we broke up) that he made sure I was isolated on the yard. He picked and chose the females I was allowed to talk to and bad mouthed the ones he didn't want me to know about. He told me that women on the yard didn't want to be friends with me because I was to possessive of him when the truth was he wanted me to not talk to any of the women tthere in case they told me the things he'd been saying about me and and about us.

Apparently a few things happened that I did not have knowledge of but, deep within my gut, knew something wasn't right. Even though he had asked for my hand in marriage he told everyone that asked that we were not engaged and that he wasn't in love with me and wasn't even attracted to me. When confronted by the more confrontational women he would never answer as to why he didn't leave me.  I also found out that a friend of C's, who Mr. W had bad mouthed to me over and over again, had turned him down for drinks hence his hate campaign against her. I found out about this after we broke up and it tore me to to bits. I am sure if he were confronted now about any of this he would deny all of it because he is a liar. Through and through - if he is breathing he is lying he did it then and I am sure he does it now.  Sadly his family never sees the forest for the trees and believes whatever comes out of his mouth but I found that out much later - much much later.

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