Today is a good day.
In fact I have had SO SO many good days. I have a good job with a great company, a partner that loves and supports me, and moving to a new flat back with my wonderful friends in my favorite part of the country so it is all good.
But
Some days are bad days.
Days where I rage inside at the poison I let into my life that makes me second guess my own beliefs. Not only beliefs in myself but how I look at and treat others and I HATE that I think like I do.
There are times when I want to hurt the poison that was my ex - I want to do all the things to him he threatened to do to people that he felt wronged him and then see how he feels about it all.
How silly of me....."see how he feels"
That's the most ridiculous thing to say because he DOESN'T FEEL. That's what gets me on the bad days - I know that I have left no lasting impression on my low class uneducated lacking in intelligence ex. I can only guess but I would bet money that he has moved on thinking that he took all my money and all my self esteem and he got away with it. I would bet that he thinks that he won some game when the truth is
I WIN
I don't have a man in my life that belittles me, cheats on me, lies to me, (and everyone else including his family), steals from me, and makes claims of being a real man when there is nothing real about him.
Bless my current partner - he is a real man - he stands beside me and supports me in my life, my dreams and my needs - together we are a couple not Overseer and slave - emotionally that is.
I WIN because I am myself and I am happy - something that he will never be because all he is is false - he has no sense of self because he has no sense of anything other then the things he owns and the women he mentally, emotionally and fiscally abuses.
Today is a good day because I am centered and focused and doing things for myself.
Today is a good day because I am helping others by writing this blog and hoping other victims of the horror that is NPD.
Today is a good day because my partner called and told me he loves me.
Often I hear people say that I should forgive and forget. I forgive nothing I forget nothing.
I trust that there is a higher power and what goes around will come around.
Today is a good day.
In fact I have had SO SO many good days. I have a good job with a great company, a partner that loves and supports me, and moving to a new flat back with my wonderful friends in my favorite part of the country so it is all good.
But
Some days are bad days.
Days where I rage inside at the poison I let into my life that makes me second guess my own beliefs. Not only beliefs in myself but how I look at and treat others and I HATE that I think like I do.
There are times when I want to hurt the poison that was my ex - I want to do all the things to him he threatened to do to people that he felt wronged him and then see how he feels about it all.
How silly of me....."see how he feels"
That's the most ridiculous thing to say because he DOESN'T FEEL. That's what gets me on the bad days - I know that I have left no lasting impression on my low class uneducated lacking in intelligence ex. I can only guess but I would bet money that he has moved on thinking that he took all my money and all my self esteem and he got away with it. I would bet that he thinks that he won some game when the truth is
I WIN
I don't have a man in my life that belittles me, cheats on me, lies to me, (and everyone else including his family), steals from me, and makes claims of being a real man when there is nothing real about him.
Bless my current partner - he is a real man - he stands beside me and supports me in my life, my dreams and my needs - together we are a couple not Overseer and slave - emotionally that is.
I WIN because I am myself and I am happy - something that he will never be because all he is is false - he has no sense of self because he has no sense of anything other then the things he owns and the women he mentally, emotionally and fiscally abuses.
Today is a good day because I am centered and focused and doing things for myself.
Today is a good day because I am helping others by writing this blog and hoping other victims of the horror that is NPD.
Today is a good day because my partner called and told me he loves me.
Often I hear people say that I should forgive and forget. I forgive nothing I forget nothing.
I trust that there is a higher power and what goes around will come around.
Today is a good day.
1 comment:
I really hope what goes around comes around. Although right now my npd ex seems to be happy my trust in katma has waivered but after all he did to me i really hope youre right and that what goes around comes around.
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