I am writing this blog because I don't think people understand what has happened.
My family and friends who don't live near me or spend time with me on a regular basis have not understood what has happened over the past 2 years. I don't know if they will ever understand what has gone on having not experienced, to my knowledge, any form of abuse in a relationship. Many in my family see me as some flighty, artsy, hippy dippy person with no plan in life and no common sense and I know a couple of my siblings make the joke that one of them will have to take care of me when I am elderly as I will have nothing to my name at that point.
It pains me knowing what others think of me - I believe we all want to be loved and thought of in a positive way and accepted by our peers. For myself I have always wanted a man in my life that stood next me as an equal and has his own life but included me in that life. I have always wanted a partner that was just that a "partner" but I have often, not always, found myself with men who allowed me to be the stronger. leading partner and It's tiresome and wearying.
So I went looking. Having done online dating for a long, long time I fell back into that habit and subscribed to my usual site Match.com. That's where it all started - the relationship that will shape all relationships for the rest of my life.
